Self Doubt Stops All of Us Sometimes

To set the scene of why I've been thinking about this:

There are a couple of internet famous people out there that I follow and discuss with friends with near obsession. Not reverence, mind you. In fact, much of what they do disgusts me. But I can't help but have a certain amount of awe in how, despite all their short comings (and they have A LOT of them) they truck on with a lack of awareness to them and what seems to be a complete, unfounded confidence in their authority.

If you're reading this, you're not one of them. I've generally made a point to not be someone on their radar.

And I think about what I'm doing with what I have, and I can't help but think that if only (IF ONLY!) I had been raise with a little more entitlement, given a little less self awareness, and added a touch of narcissism to my life (outside my relentless pursuit of athletic competitions) I would be in a position similar to theirs. But at the cost of my soul, no doubt.

Grumpy Nietzschean Cat on Facebook

I could post more nekkid photos to accrue Instagram followers!
I could offer seminars that basically plagiarize what I've heard from real experts!
I could write e-books for $15 bucks a pop that sell half baked ideas and delete comments from anyone that disagrees!

I mean, I'm not going to do that. A quick few bucks now for a life of shame.

But sometimes we all get a little too wrapped up in the other side of things. Are we really good enough to try that perfectly reasonable venture that sits at the edge of our minds?

I know that sometimes I hesitate to write a blog post about a topic because I'm not a "true expert" in the field of whatever topic that I'm considering. But what is a true expert? If you talk to people, the smartest ones are usually the ones who while admit that there is so much more to learn and understand. The dumb ones are usually the most cocksure and adamant about their understanding.

It was really easy for me to write up blogs and musings on things five years ago when I wasn't in the fitness industry (I was still doing environmental consulting) and had 0 readers. It didn't matter.

Not that I have a lot of readers now. The average post gets 70-80 hits. Each post gets up on my Facebook page, so that's a pretty small percentage of the people I'm connected to there.

But it still gives me pause.

Then I read this lovely post, found through the wonderful site of Habitry.com, courtesy of my friend Steven Ledbetter.

A quote from the post:

"It is important to realize is that just because you are at Point A and someone else is at Point C that does not mean you are doing bad work. In fact, there is no bad work or good work. Just as there is no such thing as a rose seed that is a bad rose bush. There are just points in time and repetitions completed."

So, I know this is the time for resolutions, and I hate New Years resolutions, but that post gave me a kick in the brain. I'm going to write. And I may stick my foot and keyboard in my mouth at some point. But that's part of the learning process.

So go do that thing you're worried about being judged about. And fuck the haters.